|11/10/2012 11:36:00 AM|
Bubba has post-election message
"Timmons, Bubba here."
What, no fake operator? No funny voice? No corny joke?
"Bubba, you OK? Did something happen to Tater or somebody?"
"Timmons, I ain't got time for fooling around today. I think we got us a serious problem."
Bubba Castiron is a self-professed redneck in a blue collar. We met just about a year ago when I was reading the paper while eating lunch at Jim Dandy. Since then, he calls every once in a while, usually from a little hole in the wall out near . . . well, not really near anything.
"Bubba, I'm all ears. What do you got?"
"I don't much like what I've been hearing since the election, that's what."
I took a breath. It doesn't seem like a lot of folks like how the election turned out.
"But Bubba, I thought you were backing President Obama. You ought to be thrilled."
"Nah, I actually think he's the worst president we've ever had."
"Bubba, you called me a little while back and said you were all excited about Obama."
"Aw Timmons, you stupid or what? I was just pulling your leg."
Could've fooled me.
"So then you're upset that Obama won, I guess?"
"Well, yeah. Damn straight. But that's not the problem today."
I was getting more confused by the second.
"Don't you ever listen to the TV or read the papers, Timmons? Have you been living under a rock?"
"Bubba, I have to admit that when you own a business, it sometimes feels like you've got a big rock on top of you. But I truly do read the paper."
"Then you've had to hear all the ugliness going on right now about this election."
"Well sure, Bubba. Everybody has. But what's got you upset?"
I felt like I was in an Abbott & Costello bit.
"Bubba, you've got to explain a bit better. I don't have a clue what you're talking about."
"Timmons, let me ask you sum'thin. You vote for Romney?"
"Well, yes, Bubba. I did. I think he had a better economic plan and-"
"You upset that Obama won?"
"Well, frankly, yes. I think we're in trouble economically and-"
"He still your president Timmons?"
I had to think about that for a second before my witty and acerbic reply. "Huh?"
"Obama? He still your president?"
"Sure, Bubba. He is the president."
"According to a lot of folks I hear talking on TV, it's like he ain't. I'm hearing that he might'a won because black folks voted for him. Or because the Hispanics voted. It's like they're trying to start something."
"I don't understand Bubba."
"Timmons, sometimes I wonder about you. Them folks on TV and the radio and the papers, they're making this out to be like there's an us and a them. And they're making it out to be like Obama's part of them. Timmons, last time I looked we were still the United States of America. We can disagree all we want, and you know what, every four years we can try to vote someone in or someone out. But when it's all said and done, either celebrate or commiserate, but shut up, salute the flag and carry on. We're Americans and that's what we do. I think we've had just about enough of us and them."
"Bubba, I've got to hand it to you. Sometimes you just know the right thing to say. Thanks for calling me today. And by the way, If I don't talk to you tomorrow, happy Veterans Day."
Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Mondays in The Times. Timmons is the publisher of The Times and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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