Harper Valley PTA, or U.S. Senate? Hard to Tell Sometimes
Several of you were kind enough to say you enjoyed that – and are about to learn something my bride of 40+ years knows . . . don’t encourage me.
With that as the background, did you watch any of the Senate confirmation hearings with former Fox TV guy Pete Hegseth, Trump’s nominee for Secretary of Defense? If you did not, consider yourself lucky. I did and that’s a couple hours of my life I’ll never get back.
Predictably, Democrats were on the attack and Republicans, for the most part, stood behind Hegseth. To be sure, there was a lot of mud slinging, but part of the objection to Hegseth is that he’s not a general, not a defense industry executive, not a corporate hotshot. He’s just a guy who served in Afghanistan and Iraq (by the way, he was awarded two Bronze Stars). Although he graduated from college and the ROTC program, he doesn’t fit the mold of Defense Secretary types.
That point, being a big objection, is particularly frustrating – at least to me. Can anyone argue that our government is broken? If we keep on doing the same thing we always do, nothing with a capital N.O.T.H.I.N.G. will change. Not a thing.
So count me as a fan of these off-the-wall tactics (the Department of Government Efficiency and putting people in Cabinet seats who don’t fit the typical profile). I don’t know if they’ll work, but I surely know what we’ve been doing since pretty much the Eisenhower administration isn’t.
I share all that to preface the following – with sincere and heartfelt apologies to writer Tom T. Hall and singer Jeannie C. Riley and their 1968 hit, Harper Valley PTA – here’s what they might’ve come up with if that song were released today.
I wanna tell you all a story about an ex-GI turned TV guy
Who was asked by Trump to come back for our troops and make them great again
Well, ol’ Pete stood up to salute and didn’t even ask the way
He said thank you sir I’ll get to work for the military U.S.A.
Well, the Dems said Ol Pete my friend you’re dreaming way too big
It’s reported you’ve been drinkin’ and a-runnin’ round the bars and goin’ wild
And we don’t believe you oughta be a-leadin’ up our fightin’ troops this way
And this was echoed by Dems all over the U.S.A.
Well it happened that the Senate was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Pete was cheered walking into that room
As he sat down for the grilling I can still see the looks he got of hate
And as he sat down at the table. I can still recall the words they had to say
They said We’d like to send you far away from the U.S.A.
Senator Tim Kaine piped up and called our guy a big ol cheat
And Mazie Hirono sure seemed real nasty when he wasn’t phased
And Jack Reed couldn’t wait to yell at the top of his lungs
Elizabeth Warren jumped in and brought the meeting completely down.
Drinkin’ and cheatin’ were the main points again and again
But the Dems forgot the rule about finger pointing and hiding their sin
And they had the nerve to tell us they think that as a leader he’s not fit
Well this is just a den of snakes and you’re all U.S. Senate hypocrites!
No, I wouldn’t put you on because it really did It happened just this way
The day Pete Hegseth socked it to the Dems across the U.S.A.
The day Pete Hegseth socked it to the Dems across the U.S.A.
Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically in The Times. Timmons is the chief executive officer of Sagamore News Media, the company that owns The Noblesville Times. He is also a proud Noblesville High School graduate and can be contacted at [email protected].