Don’t Talk Louder, Talk Slower

I had my hearing tested recently and this week I got my new hearing aids. My wife has been bugging me to do this for a long time. I heard her, but I wasn’t really listening. Hearing loss runs in my family. My grandmother was born nearly deaf. When she finally got hearing aids in…

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Don’t Click Here, Please ***

Mary Ellen and I promised each other that during our recent vacation we would not check our emails. At dinner each night, we conversed and learned a great deal about each other, things that have happened to each of us since we got our first cell phones in 1990. When we returned home, we eagerly…

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Tour De Force

I’m not a fan of bus tours. I either fall asleep in the middle of the guide’s presentation, forget everything I heard, or am suspicious of the accuracy of the information presented. They could be making it all up. A guide in Savannah, Georgia, informed us while touring an old plantation that house slaves were…

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Sleeping Aground

We had just landed at the L.A. International Airport, excited about our vacation.  As we walked through the terminal I saw a man—I think it was a man—head slumped over, legs draped over his carry-on bag. Normally I wouldn’t have given him another thought. Goodness knows, I have always boasted of my own daytime slumbering…

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How Wolfsie’s Phone Got Hexed

On my way to Pickleball the other day, I realized I did not have my cell phone with me. I panicked at first, but as you may recall from a previous column, my phone is never really lost, it is simply—if I may coin a new application for a perfectly good word—“unfounded.” I was sure…

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The Sage of Being Wolfsie’s Phone

Hi! This is Dick Wolfsie’s newest cell phone. The old phone talked to you many years ago, but since I have taken over the job, I wanted to update everyone on how things are going. Now that Dick is retired, I figured things would be easy compared to previous years when he was running around…

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Wolfsie is an Eggo-Maniac!

My wife and I did not go to the State Fair this year. It was the first time we missed it (other than the two affected by COVID closures) since we moved to Indiana in 1982. Mary Ellen’s favorite thing is going to the poultry barn to see the baby chicks. I love to get…

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The Sound of Silence!

My column this week has been prompted by two events. First was the recent 20th anniversary of the passing of my beagle, Barney, who accompanied me on more than 2,500 TV segments between 1991 and 2002. And second, that I have finally agreed with my wife (and all my friends) that I need to invest…

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Wolfsie Lets Google Finish His Thoughts

I just finished listening to a discussion on the radio about Internet search engines. One of the guests wanted to determine the longitude and latitude of an emerging African nation and had begun his hunt with the phrase: WHERE IS_____? Before he started typing the name of the country, Google offered him autofilled suggestions, anticipating…

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Clean Sweep!

We recently bought a new vacuum cleaner. We shopped around and decided to purchase an Oreck. Two weeks later, we got this email from the company: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Wolfsie, Thank you for buying a new Oreck. We hope it brings you many years of vacuuming pleasure. Please call us today about hosting an…

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