Cutting Remarks

I see women in my neighborhood mowing their lawns. My wife doesn’t mow our lawn. I don’t think she will ever mow the lawn. Lawn mowing season is here and it just kinda drives me crazy trying to figure out why she won’t mow the lawn. I want to ask her about this, but I…

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Let Me Sleep On It

I recently got tested to see if I had sleep apnea. Sleep disorders can be serious, but my overnight stay in a “sleep lab,” had a few lighter moments. Before leaving that evening, Mary Ellen helped me lay out a few things we thought were important to take with me, like extra underwear, a toothbrush,…

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Ala Carte

On the Wolfsie refrigerator, next to a photo of me hugging Goofy at Disney World (I was a mere 57 years old at the time) is Mary Ellen’s list of items to be purchased on her next trip to the supermarket. Needless to say, there is frequent updating, like if we consume the last of…

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Not Even Remotely Funny

You’re probably familiar with the newest TV remote control technology.  No longer do you have to “enter” the channel on the device: in many cases you can simply say what channel you want into the remote and voila! There it is on the screen. Of course, most times you will be asked to repeat yourself,…

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Laugh Lines

My wife, Mary Ellen, is usually a warm, caring, and sensitive person, so when I turned to her the other night at dinner and said, “I can’t think of anything funny left to make fun of anymore. I may have to stop writing my humor column,” I was surprised when she replied, “Could you please…

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Split Decision

While at a recent speaking engagement in Lafayette, I chatted with a man from nearby Otterbein, a dot on the map in northwest Indiana, with a population around 1,200.  I wasn’t familiar with the town, despite my having visited much of the state several years ago for a book I was writing, called Indiana Curiosities.…

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Cheap Thrills

The dollar store as we knew it is gone. Oh, it’s still there. I can see the helium balloons from the street—hugging the ceiling, beckoning me to enter.  But don’t you fall for it. It’s not a dollar store anymore, it’s the Dollar and a Quarter Store, regardless of the store name. One chain considered…

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Focus On Carl

I lost a friend and colleague this week. I visited Carl Finchum the day before he passed. The bond between a photographer and a reporter is like a marriage, with some ups and downs as well as zooms and pans. Our working relationship lasted a decade, from 1994 until about 2004. Much of the success…

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Silent Partner

As a wordsmith, I love reading the history behind common phrases. Here’s one that has a Hoosier origin. You might think I made this up (and you’d be correct). Despite the popular belief that the saying “It takes two to tango” is of Argentinian origin, it actually originated in Noblesville, Indiana at the turn of…

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A Column About Column A

I do a lot of dumb things. But I have no regrets, because these missteps often end up as an inspiration for one of my columns.  I do not do dumb things on purpose. That would be, well,…dumb. One of the dumbest things I ever did was about four years ago when Mary Ellen and…

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