Learning to Read

Do you remember the books you read in first grade? I sure do. And I fondly recall spelling tests, recess, flavored milk, and a girl name Lynne. I still drink flavored milk, but my wife tells me a recess with Lynne today is unacceptable. The best part of school was the “Dick and Jane” stories…

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Three Little Piggies

With time on my hands and no summer trips planned, I’ve been reading a book of fairy tales. I’ve found many versions of the Three Pigs classic. Here’s a condensed story. An old sow supports three grown sons. She tires of feeding them, and tells the boys to go “seek your fortune.” This means, “Get…

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Ideal Jobs

My co-worker Tom said he’s thinking about trying a new career. He should make that move soon, because he’s 63 years old. I share his concern, for I too have often wondered if I should stay in a job, switch professions, or just go back to sleep at my desk. The first thing I asked…

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Growing Older Like the Main Character in a Zombie Movie

I just got back from a family reunion. I enjoyed seeing distant cousins whose names I couldn’t remember. I just called them all “cuz.” They called me the same thing, and we had a great time discussing things we’d done together…even though we couldn’t quite remember where we’d done them. See, we’re at that awkward…

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Special Abilities

I’ve always been jealous of people who discover their talents early. There was this kid in my middle school class named Karen. She drew still nature scenes better than anybody. Any time the school needed pictures of flowers, vegetables, baked goods – or even background scenery for school plays – they called on Karen. Sadly,…

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Health Maintenance

Did you ever have a perfect day, 24 hours when everything went right? I had one yesterday, and it scared me. I woke up at seven, feeling great. That’s crazy, because if I breathe normally before my morning coffee, something’s not right. My Dad lived a long life because he monitored his health constantly. He…

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Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins

My friend Mel just got back from an uncle’s funeral, where he met family members he did not know he had. Personally, I’ve met more relatives at funerals than I have at weddings…but maybe it’s because weddings require an invitation. Last month, my uncle told me that my third cousin had died. No, two cousins…

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Working at Home

Luckily, I’ve got a little home office. It’s a place I can go sleep after my morning coffee.  On Monday I had lots of time on my hands, so I took an online test to gauge my maturity level. It said I was “childish, obnoxious, and apathetic.” It said some other stuff, but I didn’t…

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A Salute to My Dentists

Every morning when my mirror smiles back, I am grateful to two dentists who have helped me for decades.  They must be darn good, because thanks to regular visits I’ve retained excellent cuspids, bicuspids, plus a host of workable molars. I am not the best patient. I nearly always brush my teeth at least once…

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Who’s Calling?

The phone rings several times a day at my “office,” a place under the stairs where we used to store cleaning supplies. I equipped it with a TV tray to hold my computer, and a carboard box to house my “research materials.” My hope was to attract customer calls for writing assignments. But each time…

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