Beyond the Wrinkles

April 9, 2025

There is a current estimate of 73 million people aged 65 and older living in the United States (2025).  It’s a known fact that we are living longer these days, and my generation (the Baby Boomers) is projected to grow to over 95 million people in the United States by the year 2060.

That’s a lot of wrinkles!

So, I became curious about the worldly views of my elderly (65+) generation.

According to a 2020 study by Colorado State University Center for Healthy Aging, there is a surprisingly minimal difference between Eastern and Western cultures about perceptions and compassion of the elderly. Yes, some cultures viewed the elderly in a slightly more positive way, but not by much.

“Across all cultures, there was a consensus that aging comes with a decrease in physical attractiveness, everyday tasks, and learning new things. At the same time, cultures agreed that aging comes with an increase in general knowledge, wisdom, and respect.”

Retrieved April 9, 2025 from https://www.research.colostate.edu/healthyagingcenter/2022/01/28/aging-around-the world/#:~:text=Western%20cultures%20have%20traditionally%20been,pedestal%20of%20wisdom%20and%20respect.

I hope researchers don’t spend millions to learn what we already know. Shoot, just by looking in the mirror, we know our youth has left us. And if there is any left, our hair is now shaded with gray hues.

We know it can be difficult to get into and out of bed. At least until 3:00 AM when that dreaded trip to the bathroom seems to never fail to wake us up!

On a positive note, at least at that time, we can check to see if our dentures are still safely soaking in the sink until morning! Who would want to steal my teeth, anyway? That’s not really one of my fears, until the next morning when I forget where they are!

Gee, is that dementia or Alzheimer’s setting in, we wonder (along with 7 million other older gems like us that suffer neurological dysfunctions). Did I take my morning pills yet? Now…why did I walk back into the kitchen? Oh yeah, the car keys! Wait, was I heading to the store? I can still drive!

You see, it’s not that I’m forgetful. It’s just that I have so much wisdom in my noggin, it can be hard to absorb more information at lightning speed.  I can stuff more in there, perhaps at a slower pace, but I am happy to share what I already have. I just wish somebody would take the time to ask me!

Some of us have already surrendered to the fact that we may eventually starve, not due to lack of food (we don’t eat that much anymore), but we may starve by the lack of our ability to open the blasted containers that the food comes in! “Peel Apart Here” is a cruel label instruction!

On a positive note, we can keep a supply of scissors, pliers, rubbery, non-slip, shelf-liner pieces or a hammer nearby to help us open those stubborn food containers! (I’d use my teeth to open it, but they are still back in the bathroom!)

Or maybe a neighbor or a grandkid can help us open that pickle jar whenever they might stop by (maybe next week? Or sometime soon?)

Naps can be an option as we age; some days it’s necessary. Ice packs and heating pads are our friends.

We are forced to become quite humble as we age… or become bitter when we deny that the fountain of youth is not in our neighborhood anymore.

Physical pain can set in well before the forgetfulness. It can slow us down. We no longer keep up the pace like we used to, let alone run a marathon. Bones crack and creak. We fear stairs, look for elevators and escalators in every place we go and walk and talk more slowly.

We cling to the hope of living independently yet fear isolation… or worse; being forgotten.

Some of us grapple with very frightening medical diagnoses from doctors we’ve just met.

We take medications we can’t pronounce or forget why we are taking them in the first place. Was the pink one for blood pressure and the blue one for my heart, or vice versa?

The phrase “limited income” frightens us at the same time we feel blessed for every little crumb we have, including our breath, our bread, and our heartbeat.

We laugh and we smile at some of our memories with friends and family from long ago, while living in the shadows of all who have passed before us. We grieve our losses.

Similar to the inability to control the weather, we have no choice except to get older and must ultimately surrender to our fate one way or another. But there are those among us that cannot accept this change.

Did you know that the group with the highest suicide rate in the United States in 2022 was the 85+ age group, followed by 75–84-year-olds? White men accounted for the majority of these deaths (almost 70%).

I’ve written about mental health parity for seniors before, which unfortunately, still does not apply to Medicare. Maybe that’s part of the problem for this age group, yet I see no positive change on the horizon. Hey, I’m lucky to see the horizon at all!

We have a love-hate relationship with “large print” and hearing aides as they remind us of our status. But there is a good side, too.

As we age, feeding birds and squirrels become more enjoyable than in earlier years. The birds ALWAYS come to visit—even on days when I forget to feed them. They are faithful…and so is our loving God. He is always faithful to us.

Amid all the changes, we must not let the fire of faith burn out. God gives us a reason to hope for better days, and they approach on His schedule, not ours.

So…how does God view “old people” like us anyway?

In ancient Biblical times, mankind lived hundreds of years. Methuselah topped the list at 969 years old!

According to oldest.org,

 “All of the oldest people in the Bible are from the Book of Genesis and make up the patrilineal line that connects Adam to Noah. These ten men are known as the Antediluvian patriarchs, as they were alive before the Flood.”

 (retrieved April 9, 2025 from https://www.oldest.org/religion/people-bible/

One of the starkest contrasts between youth and the aged in the Bible was between the young virgin Mary (Mother of Jesus) and Mary’s cousin, Elizabeth (Mother of John the Baptizer). Some accounts reported Elizabeth giving birth to John at 88 years old! I encourage you to read Luke 1: 11-45 for a recount of this information. God forsakes no one and hears all prayers.

But please hear this if nothing else. Even if you don’t pray.

No matter how old you get…no matter your age…you have value and worth and are LOVED.

Please, please, please…if the things of your life, including getting older- if your life is focused around constant worries, fear, anxiety, melancholy, depression, heartaches or heart breaks, including thinking about suicide—speak up!

If you are hungry or hurting in any way…talk to someone! And don’t give up. Tell someone, anyone, until someone hears you like the persistent widow we read about in Luke 18: 1-6,

“One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. ² “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. ³ A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ ⁴ The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, ⁵ but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’”

⁶ Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge…”

Do NOT be ashamed! We are all human and each of us needs help from time to time. 

Call 988 for any crisis 24/7.  That’s it, just 9-8-8.

Call a trusted friend or family member. Call your doctor, a nurse, the local fire or police department. Tell the cashier at the grocery store. Tell someone you need a helping hand.

Personally, as a retired pastor and widow, I love to drive my pastor crazy. In fact, his invitation to join the United Methodist journey in a walk to Emmaus (which I’ve never done in all my life) fills me both with joy and trepidation because I am older now.

But I also must remember that God will never quit loving us. Nothing, not even old age and all that comes with it, will ever change that. I am as convinced as Paul wrote to the Romans 8: 38-39-

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I am certain too, even in my advanced age, God continues to prepare me for something new.

And I am thankful because we have a loving God that looks beyond our wrinkles, deep into our hearts, to comfort and care for us. Every single one of us. He is no other way.

God bless you all… and every single wrinkle!

 Whether old age, or baby fat wrinkles, or otherwise!

Note: If you see someone that looks like they are hurting, young or old, please take a moment to ask them, “Are you okay?”, then sit with them, even if just for a minute or two.

Help them to get the help they might need, yes, even to share a prayer.

Love others— as you also– need to be loved.

Bonnie Zickgraf is a retired pastor, author, columnist for The Times, and RN in mental health nursing. Send comments and prayer requests to bonniezickgraf@gmail.com.