Help Is On The Way!

Let’s face it. Everyone needs help at some point in their life. We often need help many times throughout our life, but we’re reluctant to actually ask for it. Why is that? I know for me, I grew up feeling that needing help was a sign of weakness. That, in combination with the fact, I never wanted to be a burden to someone else. I think that’s generally true of the Baby Boomer mentality. 

Thankfully, I think our culture has made some strides in the areas of reaching out to others in our time of need. And it helps to know, when we think about our own times of need throughout our lives, what would’ve really helped if, in fact, we were brave enough to ask for help. 

From birth through our formative first years, we need help with absolutely everything. We are dependent on our parents or caregivers for every single one of our needs. Then we enter the school setting, where as students, we often find it difficult to ask questions. I know I sure would hesitate to raise my hand when I didn’t understand a concept in class. I would quietly ponder to myself – what in the world my teacher was talking about? I didn’t dare ask for fear of looking unlearned. 

As teens, of course, we know everything. No need to ask, as we already have the answers. How could our parents or other adults possibly know as much as we did? I found that when my daughters were in their pre-adolescent through adolescent years, identifying mentors for them was the key to guiding them in the right direction when listening to old Mom just wasn’t cool. I was very fortunate in my career over the years to work at both The University of Findlay (Ohio) and Purdue, where positive peers were a-plenty.

Whether it was academics or athletics, I was able to identify some amazing college students to buddy-up with my daughters.  Erin and Callie looked up to these “pseudo siblings” who helped guide them through peer pressure, academic struggles and struggles with self-esteem.

As a parent, “help” is an ominous obstacle. In my years as a single parent, feeling overwhelmed was an everyday occurrence. Coming home to a sink full of dishes, toys strewn everywhere and the incessant need for homework help was a daily demand that left us rallying for relief. The kinship and kindness of others was of boundless benefit. The attentive understanding of others alone was often our greatest saving grace.

Throughout the litany of our lifetime, the asset of assistance, alias “help,” is a commonly unsought commodity. Now, as a hopefully more savvy senior, I’ve discovered seeking help is not only sensible, but notably necessary.  But I’ve also come to perceive that  helping others can give one a passionate purpose.  

Think of the untold times we have uttered the words, “let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” then wandered on our way. A few years back, I was inspired by a TV show called “New Amsterdam,” where the hospital administrator and lead character would commonly pose the question, “How can I help?”  It radically rewrote my typical modus operandi and prompted a more pertinent response when I realized there was always help to be had. Just offering was no longer an option and action was in order.

I began reminiscing on the realities of the dire times when I felt that help seemed so elusive. What would have lightened my load? I came to the conclusion that a simple “check in” from the people I loved most was a true blessing. And hugs. Nothing speaks solace like being held.  

I love the concept of “meal trains” and prayer chains too. No matter what the circumstance, sharing or providing a meal for anyone at any given time is a blessing.  It’s also fun to send a restaurant gift card to someone anonymously, maybe to include a message as simple as “Just know you are loved.”  Or, selflessly serving up a free breakfast for the car behind you at McDonald’s. You never know the impact that your simple kindness may mean. But I can guarantee, it will make their day. And yours. 

So my challenge to all of us is to never hesitate to lend a helping hand. Serving others soothes the soul and heals the heart. Why not hand out a helping of hugs today!

Branna (McCarty) Shores believes that “HOME is where your story begins.” A Noblesville native and proud graduate of NHS and Purdue University, she is a professional speaker, advocate for mental health and work / family balance and retired social worker. Branna is the mother of two grown daughters, six precious grandchildren and wife of one brave husband! Her passions include singing, writing and sharing the lighter side of life through lessons learned, both personally and professionally. She can be contacted at branna18@gmail.com