Solid Valentine’s Day Advice From Branna
Who does Hallmark have to thank for the 145 million cards exchanged each year on one singly delegated date? The victory goes to Valentine’s Day!
A major day for chocolate and roses, this holiday’s origins once blended Roman festivals and Christian martyrs with romantic associations. Over time, it evolved through medieval traditions and commercialization into a widespread cultural observance of romance, friendship and family love. It is exemplified by the exchange of cards, flowers and a deluge of doting donatives.
In reviewing the rites of this recurrent regard for relationships, who remembers the 1970 classic romantic drama depicting the love between wealthy Harvard student Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O’Neal) and working-class music student Jenny Cavilleri (Ali MacGraw)? Their love affair could only be rivaled by Romeo and Juliet themselves. Love Story was a major commercial and critical success, earning seven Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture, and becoming famous for the line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Fast forward to the findings and research of the experts today, who beg to disagree with Jenny, the historic heroine from Love Story. Research suggests that a relationship cannot thrive on “I love you” alone. It requires the humbling, repair-oriented action of “I’m sorry” to navigate inevitable conflicts. While “I love you” affirms, “I’m sorry” heals.
Below are some commonly cited prose of praise and apology that focus on action and support, rather than just emotion. (Ever heard the phrase actions speak louder than words?) These phrases emphasize accountability, security, validation and partnership:
- I’m sorry
- I’ve got your back
- You look so beautiful today
- Relax, I’ll take care of it
- How was your day?
- I want your opinion on something
- Talk to me, I’m listening
- Get dressed, we’re going out
- I’ll support you
- I’ll protect you
- I respect you
- I’m committed to you
These expressions focus on building trust, offering reassurance and demonstrating daily care.
Bottom line, once again it all comes back to the “C” word, not the “L” one. While love is what we long for, communication builds trust and leads to higher understanding in all personal relationships.
If you have “special, someone” or “ significant other,” then go ahead – forge forward with the flowers, cave into the candy and spend down your paycheck on the usual, often expected, Valentine valuations. But here’s a thought . . .
How about a kind word or a card to any of the many others that have left a mark on your heart? Yes, this includes both family and friends, but if you’re like me – you have had a lifetime of quality acquaintances. Consider those who may benefit from knowing the legacy they left on your life.
There I go again, wearing my heart on my sleeve (love those idioms!) Call it gunning the gauntlet, challenging chang, or rather a reappraisal on your perspective, this is what I leave you:
‘Love is in the eye of the beholder’ and love languages lend to all relationships. Let this Valentine’s Day be the catalyst to more adoring dialogue with your loved ones. ❤️
Can You Relate is a column from Noblesville High School grad Branna (McCarty) Shores. Branna believes that “HOME is where your story begins.” A Noblesville native and proud alum of NHS and Purdue, she is a professional speaker, advocate for mental health and work / family balance and retired social worker. Branna is the mother of two grown daughters, six precious grandchildren and wife of one brave husband! Her passions include singing, writing and sharing the lighter side of life through lessons learned, both personally and professionally. She can be contacted at branna18@gmail.com