The Ignorant, But Vicious Town Cow and Other Weirdness
From Time to Thyme
By Paula Dunn
I didn’t have anything in particular planned for this week, so I dug into my files and pulled out a few of the odd and/or funny items I’ve run across in the old newspapers.
Some, like this warning from the Sept. 19, 1890 Hamilton County Ledger, really need to be read exactly as they appeared in the newspaper to be fully appreciated.
“Residents on Fifth Street were startled last night at seeing a light in the upper story of an unoccupied building in their locality known as ‘Granger’s River Side Hall.’ None had sufficient nerve to investigate the matter. The attention of the police is called to the matter and it will doubtless be investigated and if found to be the work of ghosts, they will be promptly arrested and put to work on the chain gang.”
(Ghosts on a chain gang? Those 19th century reporters had a weird sense of humor.)
Another example, this time from the April 11, 1879 Noblesville Ledger:
“A young man from Arcadia was arrested and fined the other day for indecent exposition of his ungainly person in the alley running south of Ezra Swain’s. Respect for his family induces us to withhold his name.”
Clearly, Sheridan’s streakers of the 1970s weren’t the first people in this county to show off their “shortcomings,” as actor David Niven once put it. (That alley is the one behind the stores on the south side of the courthouse square.)
From the March 13, 1891 Noblesville Democrat:
“John Patterson’s celebrated dog, ‘Prince’ brings a tin pail every morning from his home in the north part of the city (Noblesville,) to the Wainwright hotel to get the scraps from the table for his breakfast, and when filled will return home for his Mistress to feed him.”
(Hmm. That puts a whole new spin on the concept of takeout food.)
Also from the Noblesville Democrat, dated March 20, 1891:
“Haines & Bussell put on exhibition this morning a cigar of somewhat gigantic proportions. It measures about six feet in height and about eighteen inches in diameter.”
Haines & Bussell was a drugstore on the north side of the courthouse square. (Don’t you wonder what became of that cigar?)
According to the July 26, 1926 Noblesville Daily Ledger, Civil War veteran Nathan “Nate” Clover LOVED to fish.
One day, while enjoying his favorite hobby near Potter’s Bridge, the “real angler” was hit with a coughing fit so violent, his teeth went flying into White River. He pondered the situation a bit, then rolled up his sleeves, waded into the water (it must have been a shallow spot) and felt around until he recovered the teeth.
The article ended with “‘Most people would have considered them lost and began thinking about getting together enough money to buy another pair,’ remarked the veteran with a smile.”
Eww.
Finally, the Sept. 19, 1890 Hamilton County Ledger noted that the courthouse janitor had been successful at closing the courthouse yard gates against “the ’ignorant but vicious town cow.’”
The strangest thing about this is, when I searched for more information about the “town cow,” I found several articles. In the early days, cows were allowed to wander freely through town. One of them must have considered the courthouse grass particularly tasty.
That explains why so many drawings from that time period show city buildings — such as the courthouse — with enclosed yards. Fences were a necessity, not a decoration.
If you think Noblesville traffic is bad now, imagine having to negotiate around several head of cattle — and their “calling cards.”
Reminder: The Blatchley Nature Study Club’s last Spring Wildflower Walk will be held at their sanctuary this Saturday, April 25, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. The sanctuary is located on Boulder Drive, a little west of Potter’s Bridge.
Paula Dunn’s From Time to Thyme column appears on Wednesdays in The Times. Contact her at younggardenerfriend@gmail.com
