JUST FINE FOR PARKING
I recently read in one of my newsfeeds that an 85-year-old man was fumbling through his drawers (which is a funny image, right there) and found a one-dollar parking ticket fine that he had gotten almost 70 years ago and forgot to pay. Henry was apparently a man with a sharp financial sense. He knew…Read More
Returning from our vacation in the Virgin Islands last month, I sent my digital camera through the scanner at the airport. Then I forgot to retrieve it from the tray after it rolled out on the conveyor. When I came back five minutes later, it was gone. I almost aways use my cell phone on…Read More
My Truth, By The Numbers
After my 76th birthday this past week, I decided to let it all out. It’s about time people know who I really am. Here are just some of my peculiarities and idiosyncrasies. Email me the numbers you can relate to: ([email protected]) 1. I prefer baked beans cold. 2. I buy two-piece pajama sets and throw…Read More
As of a month ago, Mary Ellen and I planned to attend her reunion in Ohio where she would celebrate the 50th anniversary of her graduation from college. We had talked extensively about the event, especially since Mary Ellen was one of the organizers. The truth is, we were both hiding how we really felt…Read More
Mary Ellen and I just returned from a wonderful Caribbean cruise. But no one wants to read a humor column about how much fun we had. So instead, I’ll put on my grumpy old man hat and describe everything that went wrong. On our first day, we went snorkeling. It took us about an hour…Read More
And The Survey Says . . .
At first glance, it seemed like a pretty good deal. Enjoy a complimentary $25.00 gift card from one of the local supermarkets. All it required was answering a few questions online. I figured it was a marketing scam. I wasn’t born yesterday. In fact, as you’ll see, I was born 100 years ago. I had…Read More
Left to My Own Devices
Mary Ellen and I compete against each other every evening as we watch Jeopardy! I usually win because she is also playing Sudoku and is only listening to the show. She doesn’t realize the closed captions come up on the screen to reveal the answer before contestants buzz in. So, when I hear a clue…Read More
Travel is Just Plane Ugly
I’ll be honest. I do not like to travel. I like being there; I don’t like getting there. As we sat in one airport waiting to board, I made the huge mistake of buying a magazine containing an article called: “Your Feel-Good Vacation.” This feature detailed all the potential woes of reaching your destination. Here…Read More
Please Go Away!
My wife is getting ready for our upcoming vacation.. She has already packed and unpacked and packed again. She practices packing because she wants to be sure everything fits in her suitcase. I practice putting on my pants because I want to be sure there will be room for the waistband to expand after I…Read More
Wolfsie Getting Testy!
My wife read some troubling information the other day in one of her monthly magazines. You might think the source of this bad news would be a publication like Prevention, where every page is full of things you should not be full of, like red meat, trans fat chips, cakes and pies, and sugary soft…Read More