AGE YOUNG ADVICE
I have just received my 175th issue of AARP magazine. That’s how I keep track of my age.
On the front of the magazine is a striking photo of Eva Longoria, who in the picture doesn’t look a day over 17. But apparently, she is 51, which made her barely eligible to be featured on the cover. One of the stories highlighted right next to her lovely face is this:
8 TESTS WILL REVEAL HOW QUICKLY YOU ARE AGING
In the story, there is a series of questions compiled by the AARP to compare how old you tell people you are with what your body and lifestyle might indicate. If you want to feel younger, you can either take their advice for personal improvement or lie in your answers. One of those options worked for me. I’m 58 now.
The first instruction is based on this question: HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR WALKING PACE? The study suggests that people who said “brisk” will live longer, according to the Mayo Clinic. I think it’s hard to judge your own speed. I tell people I “run” two miles every day. When I say this, Mary Ellen frowns and makes a slight correction. “He does not run. He lumbers.” The research also says that if I increased my pace a bit, it would lead to “longer leukocyte telomeres in my white blood cells.” That was the motivation I needed.
The next test was titled: CAN YOU SCRATCH YOUR OWN BACK? This is, apparently, a method for measuring your physical flexibility, which is a good indicator of your lifespan. They ask you to extend your left arm over your right shoulder, then place your other hand on your back and see how close you can bring the fingers of each hand together. I think I got that right. Points are awarded based on the distance between the hands.
I was desperately trying to score well on this exam when Mary Ellen walked into the room…
“What in heaven’s name are you doing?”
“I want to see how long I will live.”
“Well, it looks like you are about to choke yourself to death, so I’m gonna say about 90 seconds.”
Here’s another: STAND UP, SIT DOWN, LIVE LONGER
In this procedure, you have to sit in a chair without armrests, cross your arms, and time how long it takes you to complete five repetitions of standing up and then sitting back down. I have to admit I had some trouble standing up, but sitting back down was easy. I guess I’m in better shape than I thought.
Another suggestion they make is to maintain social contact with people younger than you, which can lead to a more positive perception of aging. This has not been a problem for me. I play pickleball, and I’m about the oldest on the court. In my book club, I’m the senior member, and at the mini marathon a few weeks ago, I was one of the oldest people sitting there watching.
Finally, I want to give a shout-out to the dedicated scientists who put this study together. The lead researcher is Dr..Zhe He, Director of the Institute for Successful Longevity. He is from China. They must be fans of both Abbott and Costello and baseball over there because when the committee announced that the good doctor would be the opening speaker, they put this on the poster outside the auditorium.
HE’S ON FIRST
