5-13-26

Tim Longs for Old Days . . . Or Does He?

One of my favorite quotes comes to mind every time someone says something about my job being so easy because all I have to do is write a few columns.

Red Smith, one of the greatest sportswriters in the history of journalism used to say: Writing a column is easy. You just sit at your typewriter until little drops of blood appear on your forehead.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying what I do is hard. Not hard like a real job. All I can say is my Grandpaw worked physically harder on the farm and in a factory in one week than I do in a month . . . OK, longer than a month.

So no, no pity party here. But one of my favorite bands is Chicago and their song Old Days came on. It got me thinking back to the “old days,” of my youth in the newspaper world. Heck, my Weejuns weren’t even worn out then. And THAT got me to thinking of the old Mad Magazine (before it cost almost $20) and how they used to parody songs every now and then. In my defense, I can’t help it. I hear a song and the words (not the correct ones, mind you – but very wrong words) just pop in my head. A professor long ago called these Tim’s Terribly Twisted Tunes.

So with deep apologies to aforementioned favorite band, here’s a different take on the song Old Days.

Deadlines

Editors I remember

Screaming

Filler with fear and terror

Too-long meetings

Red lights take forever

Bathroom calling

Watching time go faster

Take me back

To my college days

When a deadline

Just meant stay and play

Deadlines

Editors I remember

Screaming

Filler with fear and terror

Taping meetings

Full of bluff and bluster

Typing transcripts

Hearing static and white noise

What I lack

Is good sleep and pay

Oh what I’d give

For one peaceful day

Dead-uh-lines in my mind to terrorize my day

Dead-uh-lines, darkened dreams of joy that’s gone away

Dead-uh-lines, times of stress and panic hitting me

Dead-uh-lines, please go away and just let me be

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Wednesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at ttimmons@thepaper24-7.com