Dick Wolfsie
REPLACING MISSING TILES
I tend to lose stuff. Once, I lost a cell phone and found it in the freezer. Then, I misplaced my wallet and found it at the bottom of the dog food canister. There is a logical explanation for both of those incidents—sort of. My wife has told me many times that I am clearly…
Read MoreMEMORIES
This is the time of year when I thank the people, places, and situations that make this column possible. As I have often explained, the key to writing a humor column is to take an actual event and blow it a little out of proportion. So, let’s look back at some of my favorite pieces…
Read MoreCEREAL KILLERS
Every year in late December, the Wolfsie family sits down and decides where we will donate money. We try to spread our giving to as many well-deserving charities as possible rather than giving a more considerable sum to just one or two. One of my favorites is Centered Around Christ (CAC), a service organization dedicated…
Read MoreDO NOT ENTER
Mary Ellen is always telling me to change. Not my sloppy eating habits. Not my occasional inappropriate jokes at book club. Or the way I make a mess in the kitchen. She wants me to change my passwords. All 200 of them. Mary Ellen reads a lot about identity fraud and password theft. She told…
Read MoreSTILL UNDECIDED
The recent election required a great deal of decision making. Of course, there are still a small number of undecided people out there. I don’t mean about the election —it’s too late for that. I mean whether they are going to waste their time finishing this article. I let my wife make half the decisions…
Read MoreNOW HEAR THIS
By Dick Woflsie My wife convinced me to get hearing aids about three years ago. However, I frequently forgot to wear them. I had to keep asking, “What?” After a while, it annoyed my friends and family, so I added a little variety, like, “Say what?” and “Excuse me?” When I returned to New York for a fall visit, I…
Read MorePLAYING CHICKEN
My wife and I went to the State Fair recently and Mary Ellen spent a lot of time in the poultry barn looking at baby chicks saying, “How cute,“ while I was out on the Midway looking at you-know-what on a stick, saying, “How delicious.” The next day while at Menards, I saw two magazines,…
Read MoreLife-Changing Experience
By: Dick Wolfsie I got an email the other day that was pretty special and I’d like to share it with you. Dear Dick, Thank you so very much for your sensitivity, generosity and kindness. You will never know what a difference you made in my life. Your friend forever, Jerry I just had one…
Read MoreDissing The Discount!
By: Dick Wolfsie Like most of you, I still receive little packets of coupons in the mail. I don’t need my deck painted or my ducts cleaned out, but I am on the lookout for a good restaurant deal. Not because I am cheap…okay that’s part of it, but mainly because for the first time…
Read MoreDissing The Discount!
By: Dick Wolfsie Like most of you, I still receive little packets of coupons in the mail. I don’t need my deck painted or my ducts cleaned out, but I am on the lookout for a good restaurant deal. Not because I am cheap…okay that’s part of it, but mainly because for the first time…
Read More