Dick Wolfsie

I just finished listening to a discussion on the radio about Internet search engines. One of the guests wanted to determine the longitude and latitude of an emerging African nation and had begun his hunt with the phrase: WHERE IS_____? Before he started typing the name of the country, Google offered him autofilled suggestions, anticipating…

We recently bought a new vacuum cleaner. We shopped around and decided to purchase an Oreck. Two weeks later, we got this email from the company: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Wolfsie, Thank you for buying a new Oreck. We hope it brings you many years of vacuuming pleasure. Please call us today about hosting an…

As I write this, I am home alone without a caring soul in the house. My wife said she wanted to go to Michigan to visit friends. I was opposed to this and was very firm. “Don’t you have friends here? Gas is expensive. So are hotels.” She left yesterday. Whenever she goes out of…

I lost my best friend this week. And my business partner. Barney was 12 (or 13 or 14). I never knew his exact age. He was a street kid who wandered onto my doorstep looking for a better life. He found it. And I found the world’s greatest dog. But he was never a good…

“Where are you?” asked my wife when she called me on my cell phone one afternoon. “I’m in Walmart,” I answered. “Oh. Are you running errands?” “No, just running…or jogging, to be more precise. Running in the aisles is not permitted. I just heard a mother say that to her kid.” “Why are you doing…

My church’s men’s group recently had a discussion about who was the boss in our homes.  Many of the members had never thought about it and didn’t know how to respond. I told them I was sure I was the boss, but I wanted to check with my wife to see if she agreed with…

MONDAY: People sometimes ask me if I can finish a column in one sitting (like I do with Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast) or if I dabble with it, like my wife’s spinach soufflé. I’ve used both methods, but the pressure of completing a story in one day has taken its toll. I’m not as young…

When I was a kid, after dinner we cleared the table and scraped whatever was left on our plates into a kitchen garbage bag. That bag was then dumped in one of two huge metal drums on the side of our house that were below ground. Not buried treasure: buried trash. On Mondays some guy…

The July 4th weekend cookout is just around the corner and we are planning a barbeque with some friends at our house. That was not the original plan, but turns out we were not invited to the cookout around the corner. “Are you cooking with gas or charcoal this weekend?” asked a buddy of mine.…

For decades, Mary Ellen and I have been fans of the show Jeopardy.  Every night at 7:30 we watch to see how long it takes for us to feel really stupid. I often say, I used to know that but I forgot, which is pretty much the same thing as not knowing the answer…I mean…