Dick Wolfsie

MONDAY: People sometimes ask me if I can finish a column in one sitting (like I do with Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast) or if I dabble with it, like my wife’s spinach soufflé. I’ve used both methods, but the pressure of completing a story in one day has taken its toll. I’m not as young…

When I was a kid, after dinner we cleared the table and scraped whatever was left on our plates into a kitchen garbage bag. That bag was then dumped in one of two huge metal drums on the side of our house that were below ground. Not buried treasure: buried trash. On Mondays some guy…

The July 4th weekend cookout is just around the corner and we are planning a barbeque with some friends at our house. That was not the original plan, but turns out we were not invited to the cookout around the corner. “Are you cooking with gas or charcoal this weekend?” asked a buddy of mine.…

For decades, Mary Ellen and I have been fans of the show Jeopardy.  Every night at 7:30 we watch to see how long it takes for us to feel really stupid. I often say, I used to know that but I forgot, which is pretty much the same thing as not knowing the answer…I mean…

Mary Ellen and I just got back from a trip to visit my sister and brother. In my sister’s lovely condominium in Great Neck, New York, she has a little windowed room off her kitchen that’s no more than 6 by 8 feet. In that room she meditates every day, and she claims she has…

My wife is a redhead. We went to New York last month and several strangers commented about how thick and beautiful her hair is. Sometimes when I ask Mary Ellen what she is planning for the next morning, she’ll say, “Washing my hair.” Then I say, “Okay, how about tomorrow afternoon?” And she says, “Drying…

Whenever I read a newspaper article that begs to become the basis of my next humor column, I cut it out and save it.  Then I forget where I put it.  (I also do that with car titles, birth certificates, and my life insurance policy.)  But here’s one rich article I did find on my…

Mary Ellen is insightful enough to know that in most of my columns I’m poking fun at myself. Take last week, for example. Wait, that’s not a good example. You see, last week, I gently chided my loving wife in my column for having no desire to mow the lawn. It was not one of…

I see women in my neighborhood mowing their lawns. My wife doesn’t mow our lawn. I don’t think she will ever mow the lawn. Lawn mowing season is here and it just kinda drives me crazy trying to figure out why she won’t mow the lawn. I want to ask her about this, but I…

I recently got tested to see if I had sleep apnea. Sleep disorders can be serious, but my overnight stay in a “sleep lab,” had a few lighter moments. Before leaving that evening, Mary Ellen helped me lay out a few things we thought were important to take with me, like extra underwear, a toothbrush,…