John Marlowe

There’s a paradox I’ve discovered that few people recognize or understand. Fat guys and Filipinos are great dancers. It’s true. Not that any of you might notice. Being in the company of dancing fat guys and Filipinos is rare, indeed. Nevertheless, opportunities are out there, if you look carefully. It happened to me three years…

The conversation at my favorite breakfast diner was already in full stride by the time I wandered in. It seems that most major news sources were reporting that President Biden was assuring friends and colleagues that he was running for re-election in 2024, despite his age and his relative unpopularity. “The real story,” Eddie stated…

There are two kinds of Holiday traditions. There are those which transcend our individual fami-lies, and are shared by entire communities of people –– like putting up a Christmas tree, spin-ning the dreidel, or playing Jingle Bell Rock. Then there are other traditions which are solely confined within the family. For instance, my step-cousins always…

I believe that I’ll put my Christmas tree up, this year. Until a few years ago, that would have been odd to write. I love Christmas trees. We put one up every year when I was a child, sometimes two. I continued the tradition into my adult years, although I am not blessed with children…

Every time a National Football League placekicker lines up to kick a field goal, my friend Brian cringes. This holds true for college and high school field goal kicking, too, but his attention is most frequently focused on the professionals. You see, Brian believes that field goal kickers are getting robbed. I was over at…

“All rise! The case of Chief Ousamequin of the Wampanoag Indians v. The Pilgrims is now in session. The honorable Willie B. Upright presiding.” Judge Upright: “Before I discharge you to the Jury Room, I want to remind jurors that there is to be no discussion of this case beyond this courtroom.” Juror Five: “Does…

Deer hunting season opened this week. To some, those six words trigger the same autonomic response as waving a liver and onions blue plate special under Hannibal Lecter’s nose. After spending months waiting, an army of glassy-eyed hunters is charging into local fields and forests with enough firepower to topple Honduras. They are toting tree…

I don’t really remember who cut my hair the first time. I’m certain that I cried, because I still do. My first haircut outside the home was likely at Ol’ Merle Wininger’s barbershop on Iowa Street in my hometown. I’m not sure why I mention Merle’s being on Iowa Street, except that I always marveled…

Not terribly long ago, I had the opportunity to walk around the campus of my alma mater. I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone. It was the middle of summer, and the whole place was deserted. The likelihood of a chance encounter in this academic ghost town was implausible. So when I walked by the tennis…

I’m a thief! There, I said it. I’ve been wanting to get that off my chest for some time. It’s not easy coming clean after all these years. For a person of high principles, like me, it’s difficult admitting that I’ve often taken something that belongs to someone else without asking. I steal writing implements.…