Dick Wolfsie

On my way to Pickleball the other day, I realized I did not have my cell phone with me. I panicked at first, but as you may recall from a previous column, my phone is never really lost, it is simply—if I may coin a new application for a perfectly good word—“unfounded.” I was sure…

Hi! This is Dick Wolfsie’s newest cell phone. The old phone talked to you many years ago, but since I have taken over the job, I wanted to update everyone on how things are going. Now that Dick is retired, I figured things would be easy compared to previous years when he was running around…

My wife and I did not go to the State Fair this year. It was the first time we missed it (other than the two affected by COVID closures) since we moved to Indiana in 1982. Mary Ellen’s favorite thing is going to the poultry barn to see the baby chicks. I love to get…

My column this week has been prompted by two events. First was the recent 20th anniversary of the passing of my beagle, Barney, who accompanied me on more than 2,500 TV segments between 1991 and 2002. And second, that I have finally agreed with my wife (and all my friends) that I need to invest…

I just finished listening to a discussion on the radio about Internet search engines. One of the guests wanted to determine the longitude and latitude of an emerging African nation and had begun his hunt with the phrase: WHERE IS_____? Before he started typing the name of the country, Google offered him autofilled suggestions, anticipating…

We recently bought a new vacuum cleaner. We shopped around and decided to purchase an Oreck. Two weeks later, we got this email from the company: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Wolfsie, Thank you for buying a new Oreck. We hope it brings you many years of vacuuming pleasure. Please call us today about hosting an…

As I write this, I am home alone without a caring soul in the house. My wife said she wanted to go to Michigan to visit friends. I was opposed to this and was very firm. “Don’t you have friends here? Gas is expensive. So are hotels.” She left yesterday. Whenever she goes out of…

I lost my best friend this week. And my business partner. Barney was 12 (or 13 or 14). I never knew his exact age. He was a street kid who wandered onto my doorstep looking for a better life. He found it. And I found the world’s greatest dog. But he was never a good…

“Where are you?” asked my wife when she called me on my cell phone one afternoon. “I’m in Walmart,” I answered. “Oh. Are you running errands?” “No, just running…or jogging, to be more precise. Running in the aisles is not permitted. I just heard a mother say that to her kid.” “Why are you doing…

My church’s men’s group recently had a discussion about who was the boss in our homes.  Many of the members had never thought about it and didn’t know how to respond. I told them I was sure I was the boss, but I wanted to check with my wife to see if she agreed with…